It is 2:02 AM and it appears that Halloweekend (the weekend on college campuses that leads up to Halloween this year – ya know, fyi) has officially begun. I know this because I heard some music off in the distance and a group of people stumbling outside my door yelling “LENA” repeatedly. I am almost 100% sure there is no Lena on my floor, but this does indicate that the 2-Day Halloween celebrations have commenced.
Meanwhile, I am watching Hulu, blogging for work (but really this), and moisturizing like it’s my JOB (this cold weather is wreaking havoc on my skin). Don’t misunderstand. I am in no way against partying (safely!) this Halloweekend, I just don’t feel the need to on this particular occasion. I have two major reasons for this:
(There seems to be a trend this year of women dressing as sexy versions of male super heroes…and interesting topic for another time)
Costumes are at least partially required at any party this time of year. I didn’t bring anything from home that would be considered a Halloween costume – even a slutty one, but I’m not going to open up that can of worms – and I am too poor to buy one. Plus I always used to make my costumes when I was little which made me think all costumes and to be really original and MacGyver-esque in creation. Thus, ensuring I will have a major guilt-attack whenever I buy a costume. So, I’ve basically ruined that aspect of Halloween for myself.
(Please note how my Clever Kindergarten-Self is mocking my little brother for his store bought costume while I am being a bad-ass Juice Box)
2. It’s what everyone does.
I don’t mean that I can’t do something because it cool or popular at the time, don’t misunderstand me. But EVERYONE and their wasted cousin’s friend from home will be out on Halloweekend. That’s a lot of people to get together in a few apartments, which means that either
A) I have to interact with people I don’t like or
B) I run into someone I love, we get caught up in the drama that will inevitably ensue at whatever Halloween party and we will damage our friendship for an extended length of time or
C) I have an ok time, but the music sucks.
…Now. I don’t know about you, but I just finished midterms and I am too tired to take that kinda risk.
(It’s like freakin’ Russian Roulette)
So that’s my reasoning. I know it sounds like I am trying to justify staying home this weekend and I guess that’s because I am. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hanging out by myself – I pride myself on the kind of strong independence that takes (indicated in this video) – but I have gotten a bit of shit for it this weekend, which was annoying.
I also acknowledge that the same independence I pride myself in can be used as a psychological cruch to keep me from putting myself out there; it is something I try to work on often because I don’t want to become this old, bitter, woman who can’t keep any sort of relationship in her life except for her plants ( I hate cats). HOWEVER, I don’t really think that this particular weekend would be a good time for me to go out and meet new people. Maybe because of what I’ve already said, but really because I know that someone’s just really gonna piss me off and I already have a chip on my shoulder this weekend.
I’ve got some soul searching to do.