It’s time to get real FabNerds. We’ve been on this journey a while now and I feel like I need to come out and tell you all something very personal…
I. Love. Hats.
I know, I didn’t mean to pull a Jodie Foster there, but it’s true. I am obsessed with hats. I have been for a while now and I don’t think my opinion is going to change anytime soon. I have a whole board about them on Pinterest. See, some people view hats as an accessory, but to me, hats are a way of life. Have you ever been in a fashion-crisis? You know, when you’re trying on everything you own and NOTHING seems to be doing it for you? You need to add an little bit of….something, but you don’t know what? Well, nine Jessica’s out of ten will tell you that the cure to this is actually a hat.
Don’t believe me? Well, aren’t we contrary today. Here are some reason that will change your mind and get a hat on that stubborn noggin of yours!
1. You are having a bad hair day-
Are your locks too flat? Too all over the place? Too lazy to be washed? Stick a hat on that disgusting hair of yours and not only will you look super chic, but the source of all your anxiety will be safely hidden away.
2. You want people to think you are cool-
Yes, Bruno Mars is already cool, but when he’s wearing a hat it gives him that added air of mystery which makes him inapproachable and therefore EVEN COOLER. And if a hat can improve Divine Perfection like Bruno Mars, think about what it can do to your image. Speaking of, you should also be wearing a hat if…
3. You want to elevate your social status-
Eliza Doolittle didn’t just learn to speak properly, remember? She rocked a mother of a hat like it was nobody’s business!
4. You need to remind the world that you still exist-
Feeling invisible? Stone-cold PROOF that hats make people notice you. Not only were Beatrice and Eugenie more talked about than the exquisite Kate Middelton on her own wedding day, but there was more buzz about them than Pippa’s ass. And people really like Pippa’s ass.
Believe me now? Thought you would. Don’t worry. This conversation isn’t over, but I know it was a lot so I want to give you a day or two to process. While you’re working out the wonders of hats, I’ll leave you with a picture of me in one of my many favorite accessories.
May the Hats be with You,