The Oscar Race

So here’s the deal FabNerds: I could spend a lot of  time and energy writing to you about how sorry I am that I’ve been AWOL and wanting to postmore, but I have a play to direct and a college to graduate from and I don’t want to promise things I’m not sure of, so let’s just cut to the chase, ok? 

The 86th Annual Academy Awards. 

This is the year my friends. The year I will finally see all the Best Picture Nominees. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people – I think it’s a movie-theatre employee thing. You want to be able to talk about everything you’ve seen and for it to matter some how. I guess it’s a bragging rights thing, but I never thought I’d see it happen  to me- especially after they changed the number of possible of Noms from 5 to 10. I mean who has time to see TEN MOVIES if it’s not, like, you’re job or something? Nobody, that’s who!

But nine movies….well that’s a different story.

I didn’t see it coming. Literally, I was half-asleep during the nomination ceremony. But when they announced Captain Phillips as one of the Best Pictures Of The Fall (c’mon it’s not really all of 2013, let’s stop pretending) I felt a little flutter in my heart. Captain Phillips? I thought. I saw that movie months ago. The dialouge was clunky when it was in English, but the Navy Seals were hot. It made me wonder.

If that’s included, surely I can squeeze in the other eight films before the Oscars! 

And since then I have seen American Hustle (Costume Porn), Nebraska (Cute!), and 12 Years A Slave (heart-wrenching and a genuinely well-done movie). It’s been more than a race – it’s been a triathlon. Tonight I did 12 Years, August: Osage County (for the acting Noms) and Nebraska back to back to back. I was at the movie theatre for like six hours. The ushers learned my name. It was the most enjoyable experience, but exhausting. I left tonight feeling terribly accomplished. Four down and whatnot.

The problem is, I still have FIVE EFFIN MOVIES LEFT! And now I’ve seen all the ones I knew I was going to like(mostly). I still have to see Her. Which just sounds like Sexy Smart House to me ( would I be more attracted to it was called Him? Is is just that the thought of a man falling in love with an depthless, computer generated idea instead of a Human Person that is capable of being more than just your Fantasy Scarlett Johansson sounds so hopeless cliched to me that I can not open myself up to the possibility that this film might actually be not Barf-Worthy? Should I stop placing rhetoricals inside parentheses?)

I also still have to see My Deepest and Darkest Fear In IMAX 3D. Also known as Gravity.

Yeah, yeah. I know. If you’re so scared to be lost in space and die spinning around for eternity then don’t become and astronaut. Well, I’m not planning on it. But it’s still very scary. And I’m going to spend like $20 to see it! It’s all for bragging rights, FabNerds.

And speaking of compensations for teeny genitalia, I will also have to sit the three hour Wall Street: Douches Never Stop Doing Coke Or Whatever. Three. Hours. At least I have Dallas Buyers Club to look forward to. And I hear that Philomena is also a movie nominated. It’s about mean nuns or something right? Or is it about music? 

Know what? Doesn’t matter. I’m gonna do it no matter what! This is the year! It’s 2004 and I’m the Boston Red Sox. It’s happening and there is nothing that is going to stop me!

As always you can follow my movie-watching journey on twitter. Sunday’s also Groundhog day, so stay tuned for that. May the force be with you.



The SMASH Legacy




Remember Dev? He was in Politics. But not in a Rob Lowe Way.

Remember Dev? He was in Politics. But not in a Rob Lowe Way. In a boring way.

Ok, FabNerds, I should probably write a longer post for this week, but think have been a little hectic this week so I just have a quick little update. Next week will be longer, I promise.

Anyway, I’ve been going through some delayed SMASH withdrawal.* Because, why wouldn’t I be? I was going to go check to see if Hulu still had any episodes up, but I’ve just cancelled my HuluPlus account (again) in order to support my aforementioned online shopping addiction, so I went to the Xfinity website to see what was left of the NBC’s Total SMASH Wipeout.** Now, Xfinity is free with my parents cable subscription (to you “subscribe” to cable?) so I don’t know if all of you can see what I am talking about/watch this clip, but if you have Comcast you MUST look.

tied up my heart...

tied up my heart…


So, there are some clips that are from the better (if sometimes boring) season 2, but that’s not what I came to see, FabNerds. I want some season 1 deliciousness. I want SMASH Classic. And there, waiting for me like the butterfly at the funeral for that chick who got murdered in Patch Adams is this absolute GEM:

What's Weird About This?

What’s Weird About This?

Ok, in case you don’t get it the name of the clip is “Dev is angry Karen didn’t tell reveal earlier that Derek sexually harassed her”. 

Let me repeat that. This title of the clips is “Dev is angry Karen didn’t tell reveal earlier that Derek sexually harassed her”. 

Now, I’ve watched a lot of clips in my life and it’s not like I study them or anything, but I do think I have absorbed some information about how they function on the internet. First off, they are supposed to either be called something vague (“Clip Number 1”, “Clip From Episode 1.07”) or just give you a little hit at what’s going on – entice you (“Dev and Karen Fight”). Where is the mystery, Xfinity? I mean, I will (generously) forgive the obvious typo where whoever wrote it couldn’t decided whether to use the word “tell” or “reveal” but the rest is just laziness.


“Dev watches Karen put her script into her bag, but doesn’t say anything because he is boring.”

However, I will say that it is a perfect title for a clip about that first season. In one, longwinded sentence it totally incapsulates what all of the problems where: Over-explaination, Redundancy, Too Many Characters We Didn’t Care About…


Why is Ellis The Creeper always lying down in these photos? Did the photographer just look at him and say “Know what? You really shouldn’t stand erect.”

I am hoping that whoever wrote the clip “Dev is angry Karen didn’t tell reveal earlier that Derek sexually harassed her” was doing it as an homage to my dearly beloved SMASH, but part of me just thinks he or she was really tired that night and had to finish writing those damn clips. If anyone has any information on this, let me know. I’m totally curious.

Oh, and I watch the clip. It was short and boring.

Peace Out,



*Sorry for ANOTHER SMASH POST btw. I’ll stop writing about it when it stops being interesting.

** Seriously, they made all the promotional videos and clips from the SMASH Youtube page “private”- as in the general public can’t watch them. It was like 70 videos. They don’t want anyone talking about this show anymore. This is my small rebellion.